As I was about to plunge into my darkest hour, that place of utter self-deprecation and fear, a flock of birds began to fly in and out of my garden. It was quite a sight! They flew to and from the bare branches of my apricot tree, and the feeling of watching them come and go was nothing short of grace. They were beautiful; flying away from the tree individually or in pairs, flying back to the tree as a flock, a giant wave made of bird instead of water, landing almost simultaneously on each branch. It took my breath away.
And I felt myself soften, my desire to avoid slip away.
Now I could connect, tap in, something that felt almost painful in recent days. I had gone from feeling completely resonant with my intention to experience deep fulfillment, to feeling like I had crossed all the wrong lines within myself.
But then the birds came and filled me with joy.
And it came to me as I sat in stillness that this wobbling, this going off-center, is all part of the experience of going deep. Of knowing when we have strayed too far from the path and need to get back on track.
And how I handle getting back on track, as difficult as it is, well that’s just another experience of going deep.
I almost beat myself up. Instead, I helped myself up.
Thanks to the birds 🙂
Magic is everywhere, even in our darkest hour! I must remember: It’s important to look to the light, even when the darkness beckons.
Photography By April Aronoff
Originally posted 1/2015 on my prior blog, runninginwater.com