This winter has been a dark time for me. Death, addiction, relationships, new livelihood. The big arenas of my life have been shifting and changing steadily. Yet I feel stagnant, as the outer me has not caught up with the inner one. And the days have been long! 5 pm rolls around it feels like there is too much time left, too much wakefulness left to know what to do with. It’s anxiety really, anxiety about so much big stuff rolling like a giant wave I can scarcely keep my balance. Self-criticism has begun to seep in, I am keenly aware of this. And just when I think it will never end, that the darkness will go on forever, I see this:
And I’m floored. This is an orchid bloom. And it’s not the only one, there are others:
And all my self-doubt melts away like butter in the sun.
And I feel the light begin to return, a little flicker ignited within upon seeing these spectacular orchids. Orchids that my beautiful friend Allison gave me so many years ago. Allison passed on October 25 of 2015. I miss her everyday and send her blessings frequently when I meditate. These orchids have never performed like this, have never looked so amazing. One of my indoor orchids is even beginning a stalk!
I cherish this light, and promise to cradle and nurture its growth as we approach Imbolc/Candelmas on February 1 st. Imbolc/Candelmas is a holdiay for many, as this is when there is actually more light than dark in a 24 hour period, a sign that spring is just around the corner.
May the light shine 🙂
Photography By April Aronoff