So I have decided, in the midst of feeling like addiction has kicked my butt, and that typically in this situation I would spiral to a place of anxiety and depression, that I am really, truly awesome. I know that much change needs to take place in order regain solid ground. What I don’t want to do is beat myself up for the dance I do with addiction. Because that’s exactly what this is, a dance. Back and forth, up and down. No control, great control, total balance, total chaos. The full gamet of possibilities I do with this dance partner of mine. But it is what it is. Whatever direction I am walking in, whether it be the path of inner peace or one of great fury, I have to believe I know how to lead my way. That wherever I am, it is exactly where I am supposed to be. So for right now, I am dancing with addiction and its kicking my butt. But I am deciding I am really, truly awesome. And that I believe in myself each day, no matter the decisions I make. My goal is always to let go, ignite, and evolve. It is my mantra. And for now dancing with addiction is part of this process.
Photography by April Aronoff