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So I have decided, in the midst of feeling like addiction has kicked my butt, and that typically in this situation I would spiral to a place of anxiety and depression, that I am really, truly awesome.  I know that much change needs to take place in order regain solid ground.  What I don’t want to do is beat myself up for the dance I do with addiction.  Because that’s exactly what this is, a dance.  Back and forth, up and down.  No control, great control, total balance, total chaos.  The full gamet of possibilities I do with this dance partner of mine.  But it is what it is.  Whatever direction I am walking in, whether it be the path of inner peace or one of great fury, I have to believe I know how to lead my way.  That wherever I am, it is exactly where I am supposed to be.  So for right now, I am dancing with addiction and its kicking my butt.  But I am deciding I am really, truly awesome.  And that I believe in myself each day, no matter the decisions I make.  My goal is always to let go, ignite, and evolve.  It is my mantra.  And for now dancing with addiction is part of this process.

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April Aronoff

Photography by April Aronoff

6 thoughts on “The Dance With Addiction and How I Learned to Love Myself (sort of)

  1. I am a 69 year old woman, mother, grandmother, wife, sister, who recently discovered your beautiful place here. Tonight I have drank enough chard to come to bed and when I read your recent post I just wanted you to know you are not alone tonight.

    On Thursday, January 21, 2016, My Temple Garden/Growing the Garden Within wrote: > tinyasia posted: ” So I have decided, in the midst of feeling like addiction has kicked me in the butt, and that typically in this situation I would spiral to a place of anxiety and depression, that I am really, truly awesome. I know that much change needs to take place ” >

    Like

  2. Am really struggling with this.at the moment,like you say.sometimes feel strong enough.to take it all on….them.I fall back,and am struggling again,I think.as long as we never give up trying one day we will hopefully get there!! Fingers crossed.💜 am so.sick of the dance!!

    Like

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