Blessings Of Compassion

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Mother (Earth)-

Show me your grace, ease,

like thick liquid pouring

through every space and crevice

of my anatomy,

scouring away resentment,

anger, fixity,

polishing what is light

and bright and love

within me,

like a river so cold and clean

one drop anoints thee,

so what begins as desire

ignites this body,

as deep and familiar

as cells dividing,

memories unfolding,

dreams remembered,

of a life as She.

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 April Aronoff

Photography By April Aronoff

The Magic Of The Three/January Flower Bowl

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My Wish:

To be a beautiful flower at the height of abundance,

every stem, cell and fiber

an outpouring of beauty and love;

To be a ladybug, pulled by scent to feed from that flower,

knowing that its life giving tonic will fertilize and inspire;

To be what lies between when the two come together,

a transferring of life and symbiosis from one being to another;

That is the magic of the three.

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April Aronoff

Photography By April Aronoff

The Dance With Addiction and How I Learned to Love Myself (sort of)

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So I have decided, in the midst of feeling like addiction has kicked my butt, and that typically in this situation I would spiral to a place of anxiety and depression, that I am really, truly awesome.  I know that much change needs to take place in order regain solid ground.  What I don’t want to do is beat myself up for the dance I do with addiction.  Because that’s exactly what this is, a dance.  Back and forth, up and down.  No control, great control, total balance, total chaos.  The full gamet of possibilities I do with this dance partner of mine.  But it is what it is.  Whatever direction I am walking in, whether it be the path of inner peace or one of great fury, I have to believe I know how to lead my way.  That wherever I am, it is exactly where I am supposed to be.  So for right now, I am dancing with addiction and its kicking my butt.  But I am deciding I am really, truly awesome.  And that I believe in myself each day, no matter the decisions I make.  My goal is always to let go, ignite, and evolve.  It is my mantra.  And for now dancing with addiction is part of this process.

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April Aronoff

Photography by April Aronoff

Another Green Sign That Spring Is Yet To Come

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These are narcissus shoots, bulbs that I bought last Spring of 2015, at the time planted in tiny stones inside a pretty glass container.  The plump shoots were close to blooming when I bought them, and the whole effect of luscious shoots+planted in tiny stones+ inside a clear glass jar was a sirens song I could not resist.  I kept them for many weeks, even long past their gorgeous bloom, cutting off the tops so that I would still have a bounty of green inside a clear glass jar.  I kept cutting off the tops, and the plants grew smaller and smaller until I finally had to admit they were done.  Then I the put the whole plant outside, intending to deal with it later, but never did.  The root system had grown quite a ways by the time I got around to it, something that was clearly visual in the jar, and not so attractive to look at.  I finally pulled the bulbs out, cut off the roots and left them on my outdoor deck, again with the intention of planting them.  By the time I discovered them many months later I assumed they were ruined.  And then I forgot about them.

Until yesterday.

It has been raining here for several days now, our yard a mess of weeds more than we’ve ever seen since we’ve lived in this house of almost 3 years.   As I glanced outside yesterday, I saw on our picnic table a flower pot completely full of water, 6 green stalks popping through the glassy top.  I stared for a minute and then it hit me:  the narcissus!  They had not died!  In fact, they had gloriously gone on, despite my abandonment of them.  One of the bulbs had fully rotted, but the rest were well alive.  Here they all are, re-potted:

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Another bountiful sign for Spring.  Another sign that Imbolc is approaching, the time of year where the light shines longer in a 24 hour period.  The time of preparation for birth, the time of emergence.  As the light grows, so does the seed.  Light is the nourishment that feeds the seed to grow roots, veins, shoots, buds, and flowers.  It invades every cell of a plant, with the outcome a spectacular beauty provided to every sense a human can possess.  I freely admit I am already craving Spring.  I smell it in the air and the linger of water that clings to the leaves, a faint mix of dead with the newest forms of life; tiny buds I can palpate with my finger, little green leaves poking out the tiniest curl.  They are everywhere in my yard.  Some I can see, some I cannot.  The rain has helped my plants look more lush than I’ve ever seen them.

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In this time when I find life to be kicking me in the behind, I can sit with these gorgeous shoots and know that Spring is near.  That the time of rebirth is imminent.  I can’t wait until it is more underway, the first of my roses giving gorgeous blooms with scent that makes me swoon.  Too deepen with my roses, knowing that I am Their Keeper, the holder of Their frequency and magic.  Roses are the ultimate Love.  While I am not yet there (feeling ultimate love that is), I know this is so.

Blessings to New Life  🙂

April Aronoff

Photography By April Aronoff

 

December 2015 Flower Bowl/About Inspiration

 

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I am doing a 1-week meditation with Inspiration, from the start of the dark moon to 7 days into Her cycle.  If I can continue on another week I will.  This is what I have come to know about Inspiration today.

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      Being inspired is an active state.  I wish to find it in the world, draw my senses to it.  So that I may feel, smell, touch, taste, hear and see it all around me.   I want to mediate on Inspiration, let it fuel me the way a bee drinks nectar, let it lift my spirit high.  Otherwise if I wait for it to find me, I will forget and fall into lethargy.

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     Inspiration is a source of energy.  Raising my vibration like water wets the Earth, it lifts my etheric body like a flower in exquisite bloom.  Is this what it’s like to soar?  I wish to see.  

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I think I will shout, “You said it Sister!” 

April Aronoff

Photography By April Aronoff

To The Muse

IMG_3737I suddenly realize that I have been seeking sources of inspiration in the world.  I just finished reading Find A Way, by Diana Nyad, the story of a 64 year old marathon swimmer who swan from Cuba to Florida, and I just received in the mail Aging Artfully by Amy Gorman: 12 Profiles of Visual & Performing Women Aged 85-105.  These women are giving me hope, stirring my curiousity, and helping me dig deep within my soul to see what I am made of.

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I am going to be seeing Allison’s family this Friday eve.  I haven’t seen them since the funeral.  In texting with her husband and partner of 26 years, 26 years that he and I have known each other as well (he and I met 3 months into their relationship),  I am suddenly awash in grief and love.  I am so excited to see them!  Yet my heart is bursting.  They will all remind me of Allison, from looks to mannerisms to time and history together.  This is both a blessing and a moment to breath.  I will let these moments be my source of inspiration!

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April Aronoff

Photography by April Aronoff

 

Reaching Out

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I have been walking through the underworld for some time now.  It has become harder and harder to find time to write, to put thought and feeling to word.  Never before in my life has so much been asked of me.  Anything that is less than pure heart knowing is being cut away in big, broad, strokes.  A new me is being re-born , and I can feel the pressure squeezing and expanding to the point where there is no choice but to burst forth, leaving behind that which no longer serves me.  I can’t wait to see the other side.  Or at least that is what I tell myself to muster courage, grace and faith.  

I am going to try to focus on shorter pieces with more pictures 🙂  My how I love my garden!

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April Aronoff

Photographs by April Aronoff

A Little Musing On Life

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As I walk through the darkness at this time on my path,

a time where work, partnership, family and tribe

converge in the realms of death, creation and rebirth,

I am struck by the potency of that which I call life.

I sit on the cusp of grasping true love,

such that each day is a gift of amazing unfolding.

Each of us deserves a life of fulfillment,

one that includes love, creativity, family and tribe.

I am standing at the edge of awareness

and can see across the landscape

the deepest connections possible in life.

I am breathing, breathing, endlessly breathing,

holding my heart steady and my feet heavy,

while layers upon layers are shredding within me.

For without death of that which drains,

there is no creation, no rebirth.

I am endlessly shedding like the plants in my garden,

leaves yellowing and crisply falling,

disintegrating into the life cycle of life and death.

It is hard and my heart is breaking,

people are dying and relationships are struggling,

negative patterns are slowly dissolving,

yet I taste the sweetness of divine connection,

the gift that Knowing brings in Her arms.

To strip, molt, shed and compost,

to embrace your essence and bring it out in the world,

whether it be our greatest joy or darkest challenge,

Knowing is the greatest gift we can give.

And so it is.

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April Aronoff

Photography by April Aronoff